Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
