this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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