Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize