i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Still dying that you shit outside
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
