Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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