I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
