Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can I color on your dick again?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
