She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
