Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
