i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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