Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
