he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
