how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize