just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
