maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
