I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
