I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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