i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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