you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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