You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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