why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
