Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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