Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
