Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
