How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
