i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
