I puked a lego.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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