That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize