i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
