He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
