i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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