I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
