so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
