bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
