What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
