Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
