drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
