I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
