OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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