it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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