i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
