I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
