My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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