Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
