I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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