i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
