STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
