I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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