Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
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he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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