And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
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dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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