So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
