none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
