I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Are we still banned from the library?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
