i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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