Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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