Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
