I skipped work to stalk him.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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