I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
