Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
