Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
