You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
