here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
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You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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