he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
