I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
