he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think i have herpe
just one?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
