I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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