we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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