Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
